Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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