This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
