OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
