You're so nebulous sometimes
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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