My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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