u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Terrible idea I love it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
