You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
