Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I smell stomach acid.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i out mim tonsoeep
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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