it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
