Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
