She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
