I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Randomize
