Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
