Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
