Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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