I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
