she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
