thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
