Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
