Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
