doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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