Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
