This girl is more easily done than said...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
