i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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