I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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