So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
