Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
