I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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