I wish I could punch you in the face.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Farmville is her only friend.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
