no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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