Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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