I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
