that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
