I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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