ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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