Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
