He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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