The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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