i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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