tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
