Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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