Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
