Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
