Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
two words: eviction party
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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