I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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