tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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