You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
