Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
pray to the hookup gods
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
