There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
