Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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