Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
vagina is talking i cant
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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