ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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