He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
