Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
